I guess today I’m having the day off. Yesturday early evening my back quit on me, would not allow my feet beneath me to carry my own weight. I breathed deep and tryed to stretch slowly, the pain got worse until I could no longer walk. I laughed as I persisted so slowly with such great focus on my thoughts and how this is now my human experiance. I’ve never experianced so much physical pain in my life. I just felt it, took it all in, and was amazed at the intensity. To lose control of my physical body…I didn’t have a judgement right away but It felt like a game between me and my creator. How far down and how many times I must fall before I can rise. My eyes took control of themselves and leaked everywhere but my hands could not comfort them. My hands grasped the walls the doors anything to disperse the weight from the pain. I watched my arms as they began to shake as I carried my weight from room to room refusing to be taken down now. With so much on my plate and so many anxieties to overcome I also can no longer walk today. I have never been unable to walk since before I learned how. This experiance is giving me so much appreciation for the vastness of the human experiance. The constant test of indurance. The unending challenges we are faced with. It becomes who we are when we decide on how we percieve the experiances we are given. Will I fall apart, will I be angry, will I pity myself, will I have patience, will I find peace, will I learn? I have been humbled to ask for help when I am to weak, to lay down my pride, and my broke down body to rest. I can only hope this doesn’t last for too long. The show must go on!